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Why a water bong is an extension of your personality

A water bong is a serious investment. My T.A.R.D.I.S (the name of my bong) set me back a few hundred dollars. Several friends of mine also own really expensive bongs and each and every one of us took our time before making such a big commitment. However, after buying water bong I haven’t regretted the decision ever. In fact, I have grown very affectionate over the years and she has accompanied me through many different situations. Today, I want to talk a bit more about the importance of a bong and why it’s an extension of your personality.

Making the inanimate feel

Have you ever driven over a pothole and hit the bottom of your car? Do you remember what you did? Odds are you uttered something like, “ouch” or “damn” or something similar. You expressed a form of “pain” for your inanimate object (your car). That’s because we as humans have this interesting quality to ‘assign life’ to objects. Your favorite shoes or your car eventually become an extension of our personalities. It is something that helps define us in a way. I’m not saying “you are your bong” but then again, I am saying that your bong is you.

This is especially true if you name it. The moment you assign a name to any object, your mind will begin to weave a story that will give it a personality of its own. In the case of the T.A.R.D.I.S, one hit from that water bong will send you into another time and space. Yes, I named it while binging Doctor Who…sue me!

How to Pick a Bong

In a way, the bong will pick you. You’ll instantly have a connection with a desired smoking piece. You’d begin to weigh out the costs and see whether you can afford it. But let me tell you something, you will always be able to find an excuse not to buy it…but if you are having a tough time in making a decision on whether to spend “that much money” on a bong…you should buy it. Buying a water bong is an experience. It’s a stoner rite of passage. I’m not talking about those $20 bongs, I’m talking about something that you’ll have on a shelf somewhere and pull out for special occasions (like right now). It’s something that actually cost you some time and effort to obtain.

The experiences you’ll accumulate by using that bong, the conversations that you will discuss with your friends and the dark days the bong will carry you through will all be worth the price tag. I know it’s a tough decision at times, but in the end…if you’re a regular toker…you’ll appreciate the water bong.

Let it pick its name

Many stoners make the mistake of naming their bongs the moment they get it. MISTAKE! Rather, the best way to go about naming a bong is to christen it with a toke sesh. The dynamic is quite simple.

  1. Get some killer dank
  2. Load up your fresh new water bong
  3. RIP IT!
  4. Wait for the euphoria to kick in
  5. Start searching for a name

Its name will come to you in a whiff of inspiration. And once you named your bong, it will begin to grow on you. You’ll become affectionate to it and will worry about it breaking…I know I do. Especially when there is a clumsy sausage fingered stoner trying to manhandle your baby. Nonetheless, you will never regret buying a quality water bong if you are a true stoner. I knew from the moment I first toked up that I would smoke till I’m well and grey…and if you are anything like me…buy yourself a water bong and you’ll know what I’m talking about.